Couples Corner - January 2006

A Husband at Home
This month I would like to share something wonderful that is happening in my life. My husband retired in May of this year after many years in the corporate world. I am at the age where many of my friends have gone through the experience of having a partners retire and they have all warned me that it would be a challenge. They told me stories of men who had never even been in a supermarket suddenly having a view on which vegetables to buy, knowing more about cleaning the kitchen floor than they and generally “getting under their feet” at all times of the day. Many of my friends felt limited and hemmed in by having their normally absent partner in their life 24/7. My husband had been a very “absent” husband due to a career that involved extensive overseas travel and I had fashioned my life to be independent and have a full life in my own right so I was a very nervous of the change of our situation. My experience has been very different. My husband went through a difficult time soon after his retirement and found it difficult to cope with the loss of work, position, power, interest, stimulation and all aspects of a full and interesting job. We decided he would need time to grieve and I left him to his own devices whether they be reading a paper all day, snoozing, feeling sorry for himself or whatever. I just let him be and supported his grief. After a while he came out of this stage and then began to show an interest in my work and that’s when my life took a great turn for the better. I now have a fully supportive partner who has taken on all the difficult and challenging aspects of my business and left me to concentrate on my healing and writing. I am in seventh heaven and he is enjoying his new role. He is now getting involved in other projects too but has promised to continue to help run my business. I just want to tell all the ladies out there who are may be mourning the fact their husbands are often absent – enjoy your freedom while you have it and then enjoy the togetherness that will come when their work is done. Look for the good and enjoy every stage of your partnership!